In a land brimming with ancient wisdom, sacred chants, and
undeniable serenity, the modern-day ashram has taken on a peculiar
challenge—controlling devils. Not the metaphorical devils of ego and greed,
mind you, but actual devils. These dark, sneaky creatures, one assumes, have
decided that yoga mats and incense sticks are a good substitute for brimstone
and pitchforks. And thus, the quest begins!
Picture this: an enlightened guru sitting cross-legged,
effortlessly levitating, while a red-skinned, horned devil tries to disrupt the
peace by poking at his third eye with a pitchfork. It's not that the devil is
angry; he's just misunderstood—perhaps a tad bitter about being banished to the
underworld for eternity. The unflustered guru calmly offers the devil some chai
and the wisdom of non-attachment. "Detach from the pitchfork," says
the guru, "and embrace inner peace." Confused but oddly curious, the
devil finds himself wondering if he's overdue for some mindfulness exercises.
Meanwhile, the ashram staff are in a frenzy. Yoga
instructors are creating devil-friendly yoga sequences like "Downward
Demon" and "Infernal Cobra." Meditation guides are coming up
with chants specifically designed to soothe infernal souls: "Om Shanti
Shanti, leave the tantrum behind-ty." The irony isn't lost on the
residents, who are now getting used to devils joining their drum circles and
vegan potlucks. "The devils have great rhythm," one resident
confesses. "Though they do tend to hog the guacamole."
One could argue that controlling devils in an ashram has its
benefits. For instance, nightly bonfires are now lit with the devils'
inexplicable fire-breathing abilities. And prankster devils make great
motivation for advanced yogis to master balance poses—after all, holding
Warrior III becomes much harder when there’s a tail swiping at your ankles.
Ultimately, the modern ashram teaches us a valuable lesson:
even devils need healing. And as the guru famously declares, "An ashram
without challenges is like a chai without spice—bland, boring, and not worth
sipping." So, the next time you visit an ashram, don’t be surprised if you
spot a devil rolling up its own yoga mat. In the spirit of mindfulness,
remember to bow, smile, and whisper, "Namaste."
And if controlling devils in ashrams isn't on your bucket
list yet, well, it might be time to revise it. After all, where else can you
meditate alongside beings who redefine "inner fire"?
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